Citizens! Today is truly a red-letter day here in San Francisco, as Monday marks the first time in 3 months that businesses are re-opening en-masse here and life feels somewhat akin to normal. That said, the need for social distancing remains just as great – if not more so! – than ever! To keep distance would seem to be an oxymoron when it comes to the name ‘social distancing’, but who am I to comment on such an ambiguously-phrased concept?
As such, the Potentate of Pungency – YOUR TFD! – feels He alone must play the role assigned to Him by Fate Herself and make it easier for you to maintain a goodly 6′ of social distance between yourself and others. What better way to do so than to take advantage of the ambrosial scent of the ‘stinking rose’ and let your entire zone of social distance-based health be assured? Others will most assiduously make themselves elsewhere, thanks to some truly epic garlic breath on your part. 😉
Did you know there is even an entire RESTAURANT here in San Francisco dedicated to the fragrant allium – named, not unsurprisingly – The Stinking Rose! Among other things, it serves garlic ice cream. It has inspired two garlic-themed cookbooks titled The Stinking Cookbook (1994) and The Stinking Rose Restaurant Cookbook (2006) – TFD owns them both and has been a patron of the restaurant over more than 2 decades. Trust me, this restaurant INVENTED social distancing – you can literally smell it blocks away – just like you can the unrelated Japanese restaurant in Tokyo named ‘Niniku-ya’ – aka the garlic restaurant!
As noted on its own webpage:
About The Stinking Rose – San Francisco
When in San Francisco, all you have to do is “follow your nose” and it will lead you to one of The-City-By-The-Bay’s most unique and entertaining dining experiences… The Stinking Rose: A Garlic Restaurant.
Located in North Beach, San Francisco’s renowned Little Italy, the “original” Stinking Rose has become famous for celebrating the culinary euphoria of garlic and serving over 3,000 pounds of the pungent herb each month. Named after an historical term for “garlic”, The Stinking Rose offers scrumptious, contemporary California-Italian cuisine prepared and adorned with garlic – and strives to accommodate every palate. There is hearty fare for the truly adventurous, mild for the novice, and sans garlic for those finding the herb’s folklore and aroma more appealing than its taste.
And the fun goes far beyond the tantalizing choices at the table. Guests can enjoy treat-after-garlicky-treat in any of the restaurant’s whimsical dining rooms decorated with colorful garlic characters, curious memorabilia and a mechanical miniature garlic factory. The world’s largest garlic braid winds its way throughout the establishment, and festive murals, depicting a garlic bulb’s view of San Francisco’s history and culture, adorn the walls, The lovable bulbs, painted and brought to life by a local artist, can be found careening down the city’s steep hills on skateboards, running road races and picnicking at Golden Gate Park. Garlic-shaped fish can even be found swimming under Fisherman’s Wharf. At last count, 2,635 bulbs of garlic, two onions and one leek festooned every conceivable nook and cranny.
Small parties and large groups alike are welcome to enjoy the aromatic fare. Banquet facilities at The Stinking Rose accommodate 15 – 60 guests. Pre-set banquet menus are available. The chef is happy to customize banquet menus to serve customers’ special needs.
The Stinking Rose also features an extensive selection of gift and food items for take home enjoyment. Whether you’d like to remember your visit with a colorful character t-shirt, chopped garlic or garlic sauces to liven up your home cooking, we have the selection for you. Take home a memory of the restaurant that boasts the motto: “We Season Our Garlic With Food!®”.
In the spirit of this most fragrant of establishments, I would like to share my personal recipe for roasted garlic and herb dip – it is guaranteed to keep vampires completely at bay, arouse the most amorous feelings and make your mouth truly sated with its unmatched potent flavors! Trust in Me, my recipe really puts the ‘social’ in social distancing for you and your loved ones! My superlative creation includes not just tons of roasted garlic, but also Vadouvan French curry (make it via the recipe here or buy it here), black garlic powder (buy it here), liquid smoke and yellow miso (amongst other ingredients) for a true drenching of umami flavors onto your palate!
Enjoy my savory creation with your closest friends, roommates or significant other and indulge yourself in the true GLORY that is your Leader’s sole right to share with His Citizenry! Practice safe social distancing and let us collectively pray that the worst of COVID-19 is not still in front of us, onrushing like the lamp of an incoming train!
Battle on – the GeneralissimoPrint
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